Tag Archives: epic

Walking = Adventure

To most, walking is simply a means of transit.  In fact, most would call it a last resort, only utilized in the absence of a vehicle.  I laugh at this concept.  Allow me to take you on a journey, an EPIC JOURNEY OF WALKING (basically, trying to not be late for class)!

Before my quest, I must use the elevator.  Please forgive me, as my legs have not yet evolved to the point which allows me to traverse 90 degree angles or fall from 7 stories.  If it is any consolation, I spend my elevator time scolding my legs for their weakness.

Upon emerging from the vertical-moving metal prison, I stealthily maneuver between the crowds of inexperienced pedestrians, but not all are so green.  You see, some of these beings possess remarkable crowd-traversing abilities.  I spot a fast-walker, and quickly move in close behind him.  His trail becomes mine, but there are risks.  He skirts dangerously close to the left, where people walk the opposite way.  I can’t rely on him anymore, but there is a predicament.  The guy to my right is attempting to flirt with a female (with little success).  Normally this is not an issue, but this display of failed masculinity moves abnormally fast, and I can’t shift to my right because of it.  I must not make physical contact, lest I draw attention to myself and my awesome walking legs, only to be taken to a government research station and have my legs extracted for further study.

Suddenly, hope arrived.

There was a small gap in the oncoming lane.  Most people would not have even noticed it, as it was so brief.  If I waited, there would be no other chance.  I summoned my ki, and also my chi.  Then I charged some chakra.  I also loaded up on MP, SP, AP, TP, and other types of points which contribute to one’s ability to be awesome.  With all of this, I blasted forth into the dangerous left lane, immediately looking for a chance to shift right.  There were few gaps, but an intersection was coming up.  Being in the left lane filled my boost gauge, so I accelerated into position, then I used the wall of people as a shield and executed a flawless barrel roll to the right.

After that, I used a boost to get through.  Class reached, mission accomplished.

Real G’s don’t just walk, they make it an art form.

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